The Window & The Loogie Man

I work in a large manufacturing/office facility that is in relatively good shape. I have the benefit of having a large window that runs the length of the building right outside my office.

Being able to look outside, even if it's for a minute, is a simple treat that we sometimes take for granted. This window is somewhat unique in that it's about 4 feet off the ground and about 3 feet high with a large windowsill that runs the entire length of it.

The windowsill is prime real estate here. It's deep (maybe 18 inches) and it allows you to stand up and put a cup of coffee or paper plate with a snack on it so you can sit and watch the world go by while you're having your break. It's almost like a high top in a bar. You know, the ones that are the perfect height for leaning and drinking and slobbering.

So every day @ 9:30am the folks that aren't as lucky as me come over to have their snack and drink their coffee. I'm all for it. Except there's this on guy who comes over and I swear he thinks he's in the men's room.

I call him "Loogie Man".

He burps.
He farts.
He coughs.
He hocks up loogies (I don't think he spits them but he works 'em up really well).
He makes this sound that sounds like he's trying to blow his nose by plugging up one nostril and blowing for all he's worth. "Snyah, snyah, snyah".

All the while he's drinking his coffee and eating his muffin.

And you know, I'm no prude, but please, just once go to the bathroom before you get your snack. Please. We're begging you.